I have a problem. A big problem. I have had to replace my ageing and failing mac with a brand new version, but for 2 weeks it has been sitting unopened in its box. My other half (OH) keeps asking me when I am going to open it. I reply 'when I am ready '. The reason that I am not ready is because I possess way too many photos, and the thought of sorting them out to get them safely stored on a combination of the new mac and external hard drives feels like an organisational mountain right now. I am not ready to face the mountain; it feels huge. This is all my own fault. I have my images neatly organised into folders of events and year, but I rarely cull my images. Actually never. Each time I sit down to attempt this, I get drawn into a trip down memory lane. I find images that remind me of all the projects I have thought about over the years, and after deleting maybe five or six I end up processing an old one, or feeling so overwhelmed by the enormity of the task that I give up and find something else to do, even cleaning..... I have a technique for finding images that are buried under a pile of 66,999 images, and that I have totally forgotten about. I type today's date into my library and look for files that have a name that includes the numbers in the date. For example, yesterday was the 9th of October, so I type 910 into the search panel and up pop all the images with 910 as part of their filename. I find it a good way to look back through the thousands, without any bias . A lot of surprises pop up. For example the image below is from a walk that I took in my local woods during which I chucked photographs of nature into the pond and hung them from fences and trees. Yes, I know that sounds crazy. But I had fun doing it, and I cant really recall why I felt this urge. I probably had an idea for a new project, but as with many of my ideas, it went nowhere. And that is OK. Life would be a lot duller without a few crazy moments alone in the woods. Also from this '910' search are all of the photos included in this blog article. Below is another one where I question my sanity. At the time I was studying for an MA in book art, and that did tip me into a slightly deranged state of mind. I never did complete the MA, but that's another story. Life is too short to spend time not enjoying learning......... And then there was another burning desire fulfilled; to hang ribbons from a tree and capture the effect of the wind. That was a one day wonder, and no birds or bushes were harmed in the process. .Some incredibly happy memories appear in the search. For all of these images I remember so well the taking. The making. They trigger memories that were locked away, possibly for ever. Several are from my first artist residency where I wandered the streets and footpaths taking hundreds of photos of water., and which led to the creation of my book 'If I only had more time'. Three weeks went so quickly, and I wished I could have stayed longer, hence the book's title. So how to manage all of these photos? What I really need to do is have a massive cull, and get rid of the many duplicates and similar images. Even better would be to be much more ruthless in my initial uploads, deleting all but the best. Going forward this could work, but for now I need about a week of screen time to manage the task of culling and transferring a select few to the new computer. I know from experience that projects that don't get done soon after a trip or journey are unlikely ever to be realised. All of my videos from Alaska still lie waiting to be made into a major motion picture movie. Likewise my Latin American journey is more than worthy of a book, but I am now forgetting the details. It is becoming too late. Making photo books is the best way to create tangible memories in my humble opinion. They truly represent my view of the world. So here's a plan;
So let's make a start...... Three for the bin. One keeper. Only 66,996 decisions to go. Please wish me luck! I could be gone for some time......
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'why are there so many open packets of frozen peas in the freezer?' and other unanswered questions.3/9/2024 Son, like me, has a blog. He writes weekly. I would struggle to achieve that regularity. As I mentioned previously, I often only know what he is up to by reading it. Mostly I don't worry about him. He is a grown up. But I do get concerned when he starts asking questions about my life and that of my other half (OH) in the public domain. 'Why are there 7 open packets of peas in the freezer' he asked in a blog post recently, when home alone in our house while we were on the other side of the planet. This question he put out there; to the whole world. I take it as a mild criticism of our daily habits, but am not suprised. I know this is an issue. I blame OH ( my other half), for he is the one who purchases peas. I prefer other green vegetables. Cabbage and spinach for example. I have already suggested that he put a hold on pea purchasing. And anchovies ( 10 tins in the cupboard). OH is trying. To son I would say ' but half of them are soya beans.......' Son is a nomad, and rarely makes visits home to the UK. So it was ironic that when he needed to come home for a week we were far away in Vancouver, visiting daughter, who has also left these shores. Son had the house to himself. And the garden. fresh vegetables on tap, and two bathrooms. So here is a question to son..... ( I feel I should respond in kind) ..... ' sertu; enr tui o;qernut;wenrtuq eiort u'? It doesn't need an answer, any more than the pea question. Just needed to be said. And I am far too polite to put it out to the whole world..... So having got that out of my system I can discuss more erudite topics. Except that I am struggling; as I often do, to know what to write. So today I am writing without knowing where my words will lead. Just do it...... as the saying goes..... My biggest question at present is 'how will I make it through the winter'? A recent browse through my typewritten diary notes makes me acutely aware that my mood dips dramatically in winter. I wish it were possible to 'bank' the positive feelings that summer brings. I found myself considering this question as OH and I travelled together around Alaska for our 'summer' holiday. Strongly infuenced by my visit to the Francesca Woodman and Julia Margaret Cameron exhibition at the V&A in London, I found myself processing images from our journey in a certain way. Some are very dark and moody; it did rain while we were there.... I am reminded of Twin Peaks; our favourite TV programme until Breaking Bad came along. This lead to me thinking about the cold and dark of winter, and how bad weather can make for great photos, but may not help one's mood. OH takes bad weather as a personal insult, so I was very grateful that for at least a third of our time in Alaska we had blazing sunshine and heat. Not so good for my kind of photography. Seeing Denali was a bucket list trip for me. It is the highest mountain in the US, and had had a romantic draw over me for some years. I just wanted to be there. In the middle of nowhere. With all the other tourists and cruise passengers who also had the same idea. Not to mention a family from Nepal who were visiting because their father, an elderly gentleman, had always wanted to visit Alaska. It seems that living in a land with epically spectacular mountains isn't enough. Other mountains still need to be seen. I am not alone. Which leads me to thinking that how I process my images depends on what story I wish to tell. Dark and moody fights with bright and cheerful much of the time. There is not much in- between. Up and down. High and low. Just like the light and the seasons. I should tell the story of how one day Denali mountain was hidden in the clouds. From our hotel room we could see the mountains, and thought it was Denali that we were seeing on the horizon. The next morning I opened the curtains and realised how wrong we had been. Denali had revealed itself in all its glory. The mountains of the day before were just the beginnings of the mountain range; the foothills. I cannot describe my joy at this revelation. I dragged OH out of bed to gaze at the spectacle. Even he was impressed. My dream had been fulfilled. Denali is only visible on average one day in three. We got lucky. My lack of a telephoto lens on this trip meant I could not capture the mountain as I would have wished. This was a downside of attempting to travel light. What I hadn't appreciated is how far away Denali is from any road; over 100 miles! Or that the road to see it closer up in the National Park is blocked by a landslide, caused by melting of the frozen tundra. It won't be repaired for at least another year. Our pre-imagined landscape can be very different from reality, and what we see in TV programmes and holiday brochures isn't always what we find when we reach the destination. A hiking guide I know who takes photos for travel brochures is instructed to have blue sky in most of his images. We all know how different a heavy grey sky can make to an experience. The lack of light and shadow makes for very dull photos. We found more inspiring and dramatic landscapes on the drive south-east from Fairbanks. And amazing clouds. Weather and skies play such a vital part in the experience. This is why I prefer to stay longer in one place, to see it at its worst and at its best. The longer you stay, the more likely you are to get great conditions for photography. A residency is perfect! I would like to share my wonder at the Alaskan forest floor; a lush covering of berry rich bushes, ferns and mosses. I have more photos of the undergrowth than of anything else. But I am meandering.
I don't have a strong story to tell. I didn't come back with thousands of images. This was a family holiday. Not a photography trip. A fly-drive, not a hiking trip that would have got me deep into the tundra scenery away from the other visitors. I will save that for another day. I ate a lot of salmon. We did a lot of driving. OH and I survived 14 days together I realised a dream. And yes, we did see bears, and I am now an expert on how to behave if you see a moose, a brown bear or a black bear. Just dont mix them up or you will possibly end up dead. |
Caroline Fraser - an ordinary life
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Welcome to Caroline Fraser Photography
Colourful abstracted and traditional photographic landscapes, book art and workshops. Capturing the moods and beauty of nature whether in wild open places or in small sanctuaries in suburbia. |