Sometimes it is good to try new things. It helps to shake up the senses and break one out of creative dead ends. I have lost my enthusiasm for making work about litter, thinking about litter, and picking up litter. My book 'What If ?' was not very well received when I showed a draft to an assessor at the Royal Photographic Society with a view to submitting it for the FRPS . The assessor preferred my previous books such as 'findings', Land of my Father', and 'forest'. All black and white. No wacky colours or manipulation. I was disappointed with the response. Disheartened even. I later shared the same draft book with my artist colleagues at Rye Creative Centre. Unlike the assessor they were incredibly positive. They encouraged me to get it finished. Who to believe? What to do? I thought about this for a while, and then decided that the book should go ahead regardless of the assessment process. I need to get it out of my system, once and for all. I asked myself why achieving the FRPS matters. I think it boils down to a sense of pride. It shouldn't matter. Either people like my work or they don't. Their feelings about it should not be affected by the letters after my name. For most of my life I have been gathering letters after my name. At some point I should realise that they don't make my life richer. I should stop competing with the world, and just be myself..........sometimes colourful. and sometimes dark and moody. It is the learning and the richness that studying brings that matters, not the letters that follow. So for now, I will get the book finished, and stop thinking about making work about litter. I will, of course, continue to pick litter up as I go on my daily travels, as I always do. I wish to get back to beauty and the landscape. Which brings me on to women photographers and camaraderie. Two weekends ago, in a bid to break out of my rut, I signed up to a photo walk with the RPS Women in Photography group. A London photowalk, starting at the National Portrait Gallery. I didn't know any of the participants, but what a really warm and welcoming group they turned out to be. We spent most of the day together, stopping for foody treats along the way. The pastel del nata ( Portugese custard tarts) were particularly special. I had two. We walked together initially, looking for images as we strolled. Slow was the order. Relaxed was the pace. We chatted and explored Covent Garden and Somerset House. I found myself drawn to a topic that has been in the back of my mind for a long time, ever since I took a selfie in a field of sunflowers some years ago in Trelex, Switzerland. Hair. The image above was an accidental capture whilst bending low in a field of sunflowers. To my eye it represents a freedom of spirit, and a lightness of being. I keep a copy of this photograph pinned up on the wall of my studio. As a landscape photographer the topic of hair felt like a big side step. I rarely take portraits of strangers as I never feel that I will use them in any constructive way. But this was a day to be different, and the urge that I was barely aware of surfaced as we walked through the crowds. So many beautiful women. So much well tended hair. In the low March sunshine it glowed and shone. I started following people from behind, capturing them when they stopped for a moment. Almost no faces, so no loss of privacy on their part. I saw the hair as a landscape. Rivers and gardens. Colours and shapes. No litter. A therapeutic refresh. I remembered capturing Japanese girls dressed in traditional costume for the autumn leaf celebrations. Such attention to detail. My hair never gets that much attention. The more I walked, the more I enjoyed the moments of capture. I might even go back for some more. I don't care that this isn't abstract landscape photography, or what poeple think about these images. What I care about is the fact that I enjoyed making the images, and what they might mean going forward. I would like to give a massive thanks to Gabrielle Motola for leading us so gently into the street, and to all the women from the RPS Women in Photography group for their company and camaraderie.
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OH ( my other half) and I are just returned from a trip to Mauritius. We met in Mauritius 44 years ago as students, and OH was keen to revisit the beautiful island that holds many happy memories. Memories of spending afternoons on the beach snorkelling over an incredible coral reef, listening to a young boy lying in the sea playing his trumpet. Of a bed and breakfast accommodation complete with cockroaches and geckos, and a cyclone that brought 60 inches of rain in just 14 days. It was so wet that we ended up travelling around the island in our swimming costumes, as there was no point wearing clothes; we were completely soaked within seconds. I am not a fan of heat, or of beach holidays. I am no longer able to lie for hours perfecting an unhealthy tan. I am a restless individual who can cope with no more than 30 minutes lying on a sun bed before craving some action. OH, on the other hand, likes nothing better than to lie for hours reading a good book, barely bothering to swim or to stray from his lounger. We are incompatible in this respect. In the past we have chosen activity holidays such as hiking or sailing. But this was to be a regular beach holiday. The potential for activities was there, but the heat of the tropical sun is more than I can bear on my ageing skin, and I can only be happily active before the sun reaches any significant height in the sky. So, determined to get some daily exercise, I got up at 6.30 every day to walk before sunrise. I left OH in bed and crept out with my camera and a desire to explore. Our first location was a beach hotel. I was not the only one walking very early in the day. The sand was heavily foot-printed, and the beach pleasantly shaded.
I searched for things to photograph. Mostly I was drawn to the dead corals, lying on the white sand along with sea urchins and a few shells.
Sadly, most of the Mauritian reef coral died after an extreme heatwave a few years ago. Snorkelling over it made me feel very sad, as I have memories of extraordinary beauty just off shore in the shallow waters protected by the outer reef. But the remains of coral washed ashore held me captive with their extraordinary patterns and variety. It is illegal to remove coral and shells from the beach, so I took only photographs.
Every morning I walked, often passing the same people going in the opposite direction. When i tired of the sand I walked on the road to the village. A village that didn't exist 44 years ago. Everything was so different. A large part of me prefers to remember it as it was rather than how it is now.
I passed many coloured food trucks beside the road, closed up for the night. I was thinking of Ed Ruscha's photobook entitled '26 gasoline stations'. I envisaged my own version...... '26 food trucks'..... But I never completed the series. I was with OH, and we were on the move, so the opportunity didn't arise.
After a few days at a beach hotel we moved to an airbnb in a small town.
I was beginning to feel restless and frustrated with the heat. My morning walks became even more important. This time, along a busy road with no pavement until I reached the beach. I passed gateways to homes of many types, and tried to avoid being killed by the crazy bus drivers hurtling along the road at break neck speed.
Here was another potential series; the contrast between the old and the new, but I would have needed much more time walking the streets before breakfast., gathering more images. We were only there for 4 days. Not nearly long enough.
I started taking videos instead of photographs.
They seemed more able to capture my mood. The word 'indolence' kept passing through my mind. I was conscious of a slow changing of my mood. Seven days into the trip I was irritable and wishing myself somewhere cooler. But as we settled into a routine of beach visits and snorkelling, people watching and novel devouring, I started to feel calmer. I spent long minutes watching palm trees swaying in the breeze, and the locals standing in the shallow water chatting for what felt like hours. We moved on to our final destination; a fancy hotel in the east. Fancy and expensive. This was a birthday treat and another chance to revisit old memories. The son of our B&B hosts all those years ago was a chef at the hotel, and we dined there as his guest as students. I just remember a clean, white modern dining room, far beyond our budget. I have no idea what we ate. This time we were able to stay and make use of the beautiful surroundings, but my morning walks took an unexpected turn for the worse. I could either walk up the long drive of the hotel to the main road in blazing sunshine ( no thank you), or stroll along the local beach , which was not very far. I gave up this option after one day due to encountering a large amount of litter as soon as I left the main hotel grounds, and the distance not being far enough to call it a 'walk'. So I settled into a state of indolence, and carried on making videos and some cyanotypes with paper brought from home. I got better at it day by day. I watched clouds, and the weaver birds building nests. We took a boat to an island beach and lay under the trees drinking ice cold water. And when I got home I made a very short video of calmness. It is far from perfect, but my first photobook course is starting this week, so I wanted to make it while I had time and was fresh from the trip. No more indolence now........ OH won't like it, as the music is too melancholy, the sun isn't always shining. there are no pictures of our adventures together, and it isn't a rip roaring ride through 14 days of sun and sand. For that he will have to wait......... patience is a virtue. Some of us have more of it than others! |
Caroline Fraser - an ordinary life
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Welcome to Caroline Fraser Photography
Colourful abstracted and traditional photographic landscapes, book art and workshops. Capturing the moods and beauty of nature whether in wild open places or in small sanctuaries in suburbia. |