I am sure you are wondering how I am, now that I am no longer on Instagram.

OK, well maybe not, but I just wish you to know that my withdrawal symptoms are fully resolved, and I enjoyed my holiday with my other half (OH) to Romania all the more for not having to think about taking pictures to let you know that I was travelling. No time wasted making reels, no checking to see if you liked my reel, and no wondering how often it is OK to post about one's holiday.

Which left me more time to relax and enjoy the ride from Belgrade in Serbia to Bucharest in Romania.

Why Romania? Because it was a small group tour which OH felt he could manage while he is waiting for a new knee. Because we would have company along the way, and because the tour leader would worry about logistics, timings and meals, so that we didn't have to.

A tour of towns and cities from West to East, through Transylvania, the home of Dracula. A part of the world that has experienced many cultures, changing borders, communism, extreme hardship, and now relative prosperity as a consequence of joining the EU. A place of multiple religions, churches, castles and medieval citadels. 

For a nature lover and escapist this was a compromise, for as I am sure you can guess I would rather be climbing a mountain or walking a cliff top. 

First impressions were a little bleak. Our one night in Belgrade found a grey river and a lot of graffiti. But if Andreas Gursky can make over $4,000,000 for a picture of the Rhein, then why not have a go at The Danube. Gursky removed people and a factory from his photograph. I removed nothing from mine. I accept that mine is less abstract and has more weeds.

I do remember Gursky's image ( below) having a big impact on my photographic style when I first encountered it.

Having escaped Belgrade over the border into Romania our little group began our adventure. The border crossing was made more interesting by the presence in our group of a Peruvian, who warned us that he was often pulled aside at border crossings because of his nationality. The rest of us, from UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada were intrigued to see how this panned out.

We each walked up to a booth where we were photographed and finger printed. Everyone was allowed back on the bus. So far so good. We moved forward 3 metres, and a luggage inspection began.  Our Peruvian was called off the bus. We waited with baited breath. The border police looked at him and then allowed him back on the bus. We think that they just wanted to see what a PERUVIAN looks like.
I can inform you that he looked like a Peruvian. Dark hair, dark brown eyes and dressed in shades of grey and black. 

We later discovered that he is a writer. And also a gastronome. He had a good appetite and a burning desire to eat bear, venison, boar and papanasi (the famous Romanian cheesy donut covered in jam). He spent a lot of time in cafes drinking coffee and writing. 

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The highlight of most towns, for me, was the colourful buildings.

I immediately found myself thinking of Wes Anderson movies, with their characteristic style and colour palette. I decided to seek out images that could be labelled with the hashtag #accidentallywesanderson, having been to, and enjoyed the exhibition of the same name in London last year. Many of the streets that we visited felt as though they had come straight out of the movie 'Grand Budapest Hotel', one of my favourites of his films.

Wes uses a pastel colour palette and a lot of symmetry. Being on a tour meant remarkably little free time. so my photographic efforts were snatched along the way whilst listening to stories of Vlad the Impaler and the revolution of 1989. which started in the beautiful town of Timisoara.
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The houses in this part of he world have 'eyes' in the rooves. These are for ventilation, to allow sides of cured pork belly to dry in the roof space. The roof space is the perfect temperature for ageing the meat.

​And yes, many houses have burned down over the centuries as a result of this habit. Lard and flames being a heady concoction.

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One of our tour members was only here to see Dracula's castle, and to get a fridge magnet.

The fact that the author of 'Dracula' never set foot in Romania, and that Bran castle never hosted Vlad the impaler, on whom the character of Dracula is based, doesn't seem to bother either Romanians or foreign tourists. Dracula is a big draw in Transylvania.

This made the castle unbearably busy and my least favourite excursion of the week.

Peles castle, built by King Carol 1 was a bit more manageable, but absurdly over decorated to my taste.

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OH was in meat heaven. Romanian food is not ideal for vegans, as most dishes involve pork, cabbage and sausages. But they do make delicious soups, which kept us going until dinner. Please don't try eating tripe soup followed by knuckle of pork in one sitting. You will pay for it later. OH certainly did.

So how did my attempts to create a series in the style of Wes Anderson go? 

I found a few suitable scenes, but not enough to do much with. Wes Anderson stages his sets in elaborate detail. I was unable to avoid cars, people or telephone cables. I didn't have a wide angle lens. I have plenty of excuses. And to be honest, I would rather be photographing nature. 

You can see a few classic scenes in the carousel below. A lot of money has been spent on restoring buildings since the revolution and the joining of the EU.

On another note, Romania is yet another country on my list of countries with NO LITTER. This fills me with sadness for the UK.

Even the cigarette butts are disposed of tidily. And smoking is very popular in Romania.

My happiest moment of the trip was watching the sun rise through a corn field beside a pond in the heart of Transylvania. A momentary connection with nature.

And the strangest moment was at a roadside service station complete with fireplace and flowers.

This is a definite contender for the #accidentallywesanderson prize. Perfectly symmetrical and somewhat surreal.

I will settle for real over surreal most days.

The time has come.

It has been a while coming, and now I feel ready.

Over the last few weeks I have come to realise how much Instagram is just a place to fuel anxiety and waste precious time.

It started when I decided to use an app to stop myself checking my phone so many times a day. The app is called ScreenZen. I put a limit on Instagram of three visits a day, 20 mins in total. As the days went past I realised that I no longer felt the strong pull either to post or to check my posts. I would think about posting a photo, and then realise that it was not going to achieve anything useful other than feed the part of my brain that seeks likes. That addictive dopamine hit. Yes, I saw a beautiful tree in the woods. No, I don't need to tell everyone about it. I don’t even need to photograph it; I can just enjoy it.

Alongside this reduction in phone pick ups I have been meditating daily with the book and linked audio files  ‘Finding peace in a frantic world’.

15 to 20 minutes daily over the past 8 weeks has been transformative. I have done meditation courses before, and now realise that I need to do it every day, regardless of my mental state, to maintain a feeling of calm and reduced anxiety.


The time that I was spending on IG is now replaced with meditation and learning to draw. I enrolled at City Lit Drawing 1 course for 6 weeks, and found myself amongst a bunch of seriously lovely people, all of different abilities, and all wishing to learn to draw better. One woman described her reason for attending as  ‘to escape my relationship’. Her attendance was erratic, and yet she is the one who has kept the group going after the course ended. Last Sunday I found myself trying to draw a bust of a handsome Roman in the company of my fellow ex-course pupils in a quiet corner of the V&A museum. It didn’t go well as a drawing, but it made me even more determined to keep practising and improving.

Drawing in itself is a meditative process, a different one from walking with my camera, but just as calming (most of the time!). I have time enough for both, and for that I am very grateful. 

So what will happen if I switch off from my 1500 followers? 
Will I fall into an artistic abyss?
I no longer believe so. 

Recently I have spent more time on Instagram reporting that I don’t like the adverts being shown to me in increasing numbers, and less time actually engaging in a useful way. I don’t wish to see ads about bunions, pelvic floor exercises or shoes. They are distracting and irrelevant. They appear in ever increasing numbers. They leave me feeling irritated. 
 
I rarely, if ever, make a sale as a result of one of my posts, so my plan is to work hard at keeping my website and newsletter as my main way of reporting what I am up to. My real friends and supporters will still be in touch through real-life meetings, my newsletters and my blog. The other thousand or so will probably not even notice my absence.

I am not an artist because I wish to make money.

I am an artist because it is what feeds my soul.

Just adding the ScreeZen app to my phone has been a revelation in how addictive Instagram is, and how little I miss it now that I am spending much less time on it. Having just read The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt  about the impact of smart phones on young people’s mental health, I feel even more strongly that as adults, we have a duty to set a good example to the young people in our lives. My grandson (10) is currently reading The Amazing Generation by Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price on how to have fun in a screen free world. His comments have resonated strongly as he observes teenagers and even toddlers glued to phones, missing all that is going on around them. We spent time on a bus this week looking for 'the most interesting characters'. An elderly Asian lady in a large floppy hat carrying a shocking pink mallet caught our eye and left us imagining all sorts of possibilities for what she might be up to. 

I owe it to him and to myself. 

So I am going to go cold turkey, and remove the app from my phone.

I will still be found here on my website and blog.

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