Alisdair Kitchen filming Caroline Fraser through a bush....
I was asked to make a movie. About my art practice. This request came out of the blue, from a film maker Alisdair Kitchen, who was appointed by Rye Arts Festival Digital Fringe. I did not know of him, but liked what I saw on his website very much; he has worked with opera singers and is himself a musician. His style appealed to me, so I said 'yes'. We arranged to spend a day together, in my studio and out on location. My main worry was what to wear. I am clearly vainer than I realised..... 
A rusty boat at Rye Harbour
We talked in the studio, and he watched me sewing a book. The notice board and windowsill featured highly; Alisdair liked the wind blowing papers around. I admired his setup, and realised that I would probably never make a video again..... Then we were off to Rye Harbour. A visual desert for my type of photography. Old buildings and boats. Way out of my normal comfort zone. I walked, he followed. I wondered why I had forgotten a belt to hold my trousers up. I felt acutely self conscious. 
Seagull. Rye Harbour
I saw a seagull on a chimney. Some cracked mud. I pretended to take photos. 
parched earth, Rye Harbour
But mostly I saw Alisdair, and felt so self conscious that I snapped wildy at anything that I passed. This was for show; except that it was not. Alisdair decided that photos I took were to end up in the film. I was not keen on this idea; I don't make images when being followed closely by a cameraman. I like to be alone, quiet, getting into a rhythm by walking and thinking. 
The film maker at work
The harder I tried, the worse it felt. Alisdair was happy because he was outside, and the wind was blowing my hair.... seems he likes wind. 
Old railway shed, Rye Harbour
But I should not have worried. Because Alisdair is a pro. The film that he made is gentle and beautiful. Out of all the nonsense that I talked, he picked out the key elements of my story, and put them together in a way that I feel is completely true to my practice. You can watch it here......
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 Pink Flamingos and Feral Crows I hear the hum of worker bees a leaf blower being wielded endlessly, an open fridge door beeping, the neighbour’s dog yapping, a fractious child across the way screaming. A quarantine soundscape.  I watch a cat on the shingle roof, soft treading the gutter, suspended above the city. Fearless. Later, prowling in the long grass a steady stare, defiant.  I navigate a virtual world of mountains with colours for names ‘pink mountain’s real claim to fame is the high population of rare Arctic butterflies attracted here by the region’s blossoms’ ‘it is a very scary place; reminiscent of a 1970’s horror movie’ I discover ‘big white’, ‘emerald’, ‘silver tip’ and more.  I walk while the world sleeps, furtively. I discover pink flamingos and feral crows, give away garden flowers and a tiny front yard book exchange.  I feel the temperature rising. Radishes in the grey plastic tub are quietly wilting. I consider the crenellations of a thousand fir trees on the distant mountain, watching for the snow melt, day after day.  I’m having trouble with the phone, have dropped the croutons on the floor, spoken to a federal officer at the door. ‘talk in a low tone this will help you stay calmer’  A northern Flicker, thrashes and crashes against a glassy pane as a creeping nausea descends, probably fictitious. This may be the longest day. ‘a rational person can find peace by cultivating indifference to things outside of their control ’  This is a Canadian mandatory fourteen day Covid-19 quarantine.  Day ten was the hardest. ******* Words and images © Caroline Fraser 2021    |
Caroline Fraser - an ordinary life
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